Harry's Hardship
by Drake Dracul
Summary: Harry hasn't even reached the age of eleven yet, and is already wiling to take his life. How will this end? Well, You won't know unless you read will you? Rated M for a Reason People!
1. WARNING MESSAGE

**WARNING MESSAGE**

 **READ ENTIRE MESSAGE BEFORE DECIDING ON WHETHER OR NOT TO CONTINUE READING THIS STORY!**

Okay, so this story is just going to be me letting out some of my pent up emotions. It is likely to be a major trigger point for people with history of mental illness and self harm. It is not for children. It is not for people who are easily triggered, and I swear if anyone does anything that the character's do in this story, because of this story, I will clip them up the back of the head for being such an idiot. This is just a story and I intend for it to stay that way.

There may possibly be: Abuse, Rape, Drug use, Alcoholism, Substance Abuse, Self-harm, Suicide, Attempted Suicide, Muggle Violence, Magical Violence, Homicide, Attempted Homicide, Attempted Genocide, Animal Abuse, Mentions of Mental Health Issues, Details About Mental Health Issues, Explicit Content (Sexual and Non-Sexual), Bullying, Emotional Trauma, Mental Trauma, Severe Injuries, Subtle and Unsubtle Character Bashing, Subtle and Unsubtle OOCness, Sexual Content, Uncontrolled Emotion, Angst, Sadness, Anger, Self-Hatred, Self-Pity, Despair, Criminal Activity, Criminal Masterminds, Heinous Crimes, Child Molestation, Child Pornography, Yaoi (Boy-Love) (Gayness) (Slash), Yuri (Lesbians) (Fem-Slash), Het (Straight) (Not-Gayness), Cold-Heartedness, Orphaned Children, Teen Pregnancy, Mpreg, Miscarriages, Abortion, Hate Crimes, Taboo Sexual Interests or Fantasies, Nasty (Dirty) Kinks or Fetishes, Sadism, Masochism, Sadomasochism, Homelessness, Prostitution, Melodrama, and Anything else you can think of that needs to be in a content warning.

By stating all of the things I have stated above, I may be being overcautious, but I'd rather be overcautious and have less people read the story, then have everyone read it and have several people triggered, disgusted or tempted to harm themselves due to reading this explosion of emotion and feels-stabbingness.

It is not likely that every single one of the previously mentioned topics will be approached in every chapter, and some may not be approached at all, but you now have fair warning of what you may see.

Also, I do not own this Fandom, or the Book/Game/Show it is based on. I make no money from the writing of this story.


	2. Harry's Hardship (Prologue)

"They don't care. Nobody cares. The world would be better off if I weren't in it." he could barely hear his own words through his sobs as he took the razor to his wrist. He couldn't his own words out loud, but they were plenty loud enough in his head anyway.

 _"Useless"_ His Uncle shouted in his memory. _"Freak!"_ He heard his Aunt scream once again. _"Mistake"_ Came his whale of a Cousin's taunting voice.

 _"You were a mistake. And your parents regretted having you so much they killed themselves."_ Is what Dudley had actually said.

Harry sobbed a little louder as his salty tears fell into the fresh slice in his wrist. "Down the road, not across the street" Harry reminded himself with a bitter-sweet chuckle as he pressed his Uncle's broken Gillette razor into his skin just below the elbow. He hissed in pain as he dragged it down to meet the angry red slice that went across his wrist.

Harry smiled through his tears, albeit just a little, but the smile was there as the new, less depressing thought crossed his mind that he could finally see his parents again, and apologize for ruining their lives as he had.

With that last thought on his mind, and the faintest smile on his wind bitten lips, Harry's vision turned to darkness as he slipped into a long, restless slumber.


	3. Harry's Hardship (Chapter 1)

It was Harry's eleventh birthday. It was exactly three years, two months and eighteen days, since Harry had tried to take his life.

A moderately attractive male walked into the room, and the eleven year old glared and hissed at him. "Come now Hadrian" the young nurse sighed "Do we _really_ have to go through this every day? You know it's for your own good." Harry spat out a string of unintelligible hisses.

Despite the fact that the other male couldn't understand what exactly it was that Harry was saying, he knew it was insulting. "Don't you take that tone with me Mister" he placed his hand upon his hip. "If you keep trying to avoid taking these things, the Doctor's are going to go back to putting you in a jacket and stabbing you in the throat with the meds."

If James hadn't been the nurse assigned to Harry's care for the past three years, he would have been taken aback when Harry crouched down with a feral snarl distorting his features. But he _had_ watched over Harry for three years, and he was accustomed to the way Harry defended himself from any possible threat, and in Harry's mind, the drug they forced into him was a very real threat.

Harry hadn't spoken a word since he attempted to take his life, the only noises he'd made were garbled hisses and screaming, the latter was almost always while he slept.

It seemed he'd not had a single nights sleep without a plague of nightmares, he very rarely woke up, and yet it seemed the more he slept through the nightmares, the more on edge, weary and utterly exhausted he became.

Harry's snarl intensified and his eyes glinted maliciously as a doctor came near his room. He refused to be drugged, and he would happily shred every man, woman or child who tried, to shreds, to make that statement.

He. Would. Not. Be. Drugged.

James looked out the door. "They're on their way Hadrian, if you don't take the pills, they will put you back in the straight jacket. They won't let you just get away with it." James looked at Harry with sympathy in his eyes. He then took a deep breath, letting it out quickly he walked further into the room and knelt in front of Harry, showing himself to Harry, as vulnerable. "Hadrian, I don't want to see you in a jacket. Especially not today."

Harry's head cocked slightly to the side, his snarl lessening and his glare morphing into a quizzical gaze. "It's your birthday Hadrian, you turn eleven today." James gave a soft smile as Harry's eyes widened. "Ssseeesshaah qeeu?" As Harry hissed that out, he poked James's chest and then the floor in front of him. James chuckled and nodded. "If you take the meds, I will stay with you until lights out." Harry took the pill and put it in his mouth, just as his stomach rumbled.

James stood up and turned to the door. "I'll be back with your breakfast." Harry just stared at him.

Once James had left Harry spat the pill out and shoved it into the little tear in his mattress. He then went back into the same position he was in before James left, just in time too, because the very moment he got back into position, James walked in the door.


	4. Harry's Hardship (Chapter 2)

After Harry finished his breakfast, which he'd made James eat some of as well, he sat on the man's lap and bounced around until the man started to chuckle and tickle him.

As Harry squealed and hugged the man, something that did surprise James, there was a knock on Harry's door and an emotionless call of "Mail for Mr. H.J Potter."

An envelope was pushed under the door. Harry creeped over and picked it up. He gave it to James. "Sseeellovvah nniiixx"

James looked at Harry for a moment before asking, "You want me to read it?" Harry nodded. "You can't?" Harry shook his head.

James opened the letter and read out loud "Dear Mr. Potter, we are pleased to announce that you have been accepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. We await your owl." Harry snorted and took the letter back, before eating it."My thoughts exactly Hadrian." James grinned.

Harry once again sat on James's lap, only thus time he put his head on the man's chest, and fell to sleep.

As promised, James had stayed with Harry until lights out, however Harry had spent the whole time sleeping, and more surprisingly, without a single nightmare.

It had been little over an hour since James had left, and Harry woke up screaming.

It wasn't often he woke up from his nightmares, infact, it was a rather rare occurrence. He looked around and found another envolope just inside the bars of his window. He opened the window and pulled the letter in, it was the same as earlier, so he ate it. If it was a joke, then it sucked. It wasn't even funny, everyone new magic was for faerie tales, and not real life.

Harry stood up and paced around, he would get out today. If he had to spend another day in this place, there would be blood... Maybe that wasn't such a bad thing. He grinned and licked his lips in anticipation. He wanted to taste blood, and he would. Only James would be safe. Only James deserved to be saved. Only James cared for him. Only James. Harry laughed deeply and got back into bed to pretend to sleep. There would be blood today, and he would have his fill.

 **As you can tell, this is** ** _NOT_** **a 'Harry saves the light and all is good' fic. This is dark, this is taboo. This is Harry with the 'Black insanity'.**


	5. Harry's Hardship (Chapter 3)

James was late the next morning, so a young female, trying to prove she was as good as anyone else took up the challenge of medicating Harry. People seemed to think it was difficult, but Charlotte wasn't afraid of some preteen with an attitude problem.

She pushed open the door, without knocking and found the boy sleeping, life was just making it easy for her. She tilted the boys head and pressed the pill into his mouth, only to have her finger bitten. Off.

Harry covered her mouth as he spat both the pill and her finger onto the floor. "Iisshaallaa!" He hissed cruelly into her ear.

She was afraid now. She was very afraid. She was afraid and in pain. "Iisshaallaa leeesssaa nanaaaniii." He hissed at her before biting her throat. He pulled away once she was bleeding and instead pushed his fingers in, Charlotte had long since passed out, making the job of ripping out her larynx out all to easy. He then watched her sleep restlessly, almost cheering when she woke up and her scream failed, coming out as only a sort of pathetic whistle. He laughed as she tried to get up, only to once again fail at crying out when the pain hit. He may not be particularly heavy, but when you jump on someone's legs at the right angle, there tends to be some damage done. And some damage there most certainly was.

Harry had just finished gouging the woman's eyes out when James arrived. "Jesus Hadrian!" He made the harsh whisper, "You can't just do this shit and get away with it. How am I supposed to hide a body in broad daylight?" he slammed the door shut behind him.

Charlotte's eyes would have widened if she'd still had them. The nurses were not supposed to hide bodies for the patients, they were supposed to tell on the patients if they started getting too violent. Or rather, if they started showing any violence at all. They were most certainly NOT meant to help them get away with murder.

"Ssseeesshaah!" Harry grinned, eyes alight with danger and excitement as James came closer. "Hadrian, you have fifteen minutes before Doctor Macnair comes around to check on everyone, so saying, you have three minutes to be done with her, when I take her away, you need to start cleaning up immediately, if either of us get caught, it's bad news for us both." James didn't usually look quite so serious, so Harry took this as he had better do what he was told. Something he only ever did sometimes for James only. James was special.

Harry looked at the silently crying woman in disgust, she hadn't even put up a proper fight, how pathetic she was. He put his hands on her chest and pushed down. There was a sickeningly squelchy crunch as he shattered her ribs, sternum and spine, killing her instantly, but agonisingly.

The boy smiled happily as James took the woman's carcass he sighed contentedly for a moment before cleaning up his mess. He had the place clean in ten minutes, James was back in twelve, all together, it looked to be a regular morning when the ugly doctor looked in and complemented James on his ability to keep the little psychopath at bay.

After the Doctor disappeared, James turned to Harry. "What have I told you about murder before sundown?" He seemed rather irate. "Sshheellssiii sshoosshhoonnaa." Harry looked down, looking appropriately scolded "Exactly. Don't do it." James huffed. The man's frown melted away though, as Harry deposited himself in the elder's lap and cooed quietly. "Only for you Hadrian. Only for you."


	6. Harry's Hardship (Chapter 4)

**Author's Note: (Feel free to skip, it's not exactly important to the story...)**

 **Okay, so... Yeah... I made Harry pretty batshit crazy so far, but if you look at Bellatrix, I think it still fits in with suffering the legendary 'Black insanity' right? If you didn't quite pick it up from how James DIDN'T freak out, it's not Harry's first kill. It's also not the first time James has hidden the body, much to our dearly departed Charlotte's horror...**

 **If it seems a little too far to simply be the 'Black Insanity', then look also at the fact that just about every Wizard with the ability of Parseltongue ended up as either a Dark Lord or a permanent resident in St. Mungo's psych ward. So put the Black insanity in combination with Parseltongue AND childhood abuse, and you have one guaranteed mental patient.**

 **On a slightly different note, I post the chapters as soon as I have finished them, so if you have any little idea's, but don't know how to go about writing your own fic (And don't laugh, some people just find it difficult to write for an audience, I did originally), throw me the idea's and I'll see if I can't work them in. If I use your idea, I'll give you credit in the Author's Note.**

 **I would like to also apologize for having such short chapters, but sometimes its better to have many short chapters rather then a few log ones, especially if you've run your course with on subject/scene, and there is no way to bridge to the next without looking like an amateur trying to simply pass an English test. I also apologize for this Author's Note. It's long enough to be a chapter on it's own. So saying, on with the story!**

James spent the better half of the day holding the murderous boy in his arms, the child's pale skin, so long untouched by the suns rays, was a juxtaposition to his midnight black hair and almost glowing green eyes. Upon his head there was a rather unique scar, James had no idea on what the story behind it was, only that in every lightning storm there was a reminder of this beautiful boy. This beautiful, terrifying, murderous boy who spoke like a snake.

As glowing green eyes looked into ultramarine ones, there was peace in the room. Two sets of eyes grew closer together and closer to closing when the two males were both brought back to reality by a sharp rapping on the window. Another bloody owl.

In the blink of an eye, it changed from an annoying owl, to a very dead owl, and only a moment longer before it became a pile of feathers and bones. Harry it seemed, was extremely murderous today. James groaned, he didn't want to hide anymore bodies with the sun illuminating his face for all to see. The last thing he needed was jail time. And the last thing Harry needed was to be here without anyone that he trusted. The asylum wasn't ready for the chaos that would bring. To be completely honest, the world wasn't ready for the chaos that would bring.

James was brought out of his musings by Harry's voice softly calling for him. "Ssseeesshaah" "Yes Harry?" "Iisshhallaa toiissellaa. Sseerrooo toiissellaa." Of all the words James new, there was Ssseeesshaah, what Harry called him, and toiissellaa, dead. He could usually tell what Harry wanted even without speaking the strange language the boy seemed to have invented, just by the circumstances and situations that surrounded the words. Then there where the words used so often he learned them, like his name... And dead...

There was this one other word Harry used a fair bit when speaking to James, but the man wasn't quite sure what it meant. Sseeellovvah. Harry had been using that one a lot more in the past year, and James, wasn't quite sure on what exactly that one meant. Or there was Vviipeerraa which it seemed, was what Harry called himself.

James very quickly snapped out of his thoughts and looked back at Harry. "Yes, yes they are." Harry crawled out of James's lap, only to come back after pulling something slightly warm and very squishy out from under his bed. James had trained to be a doctor before he met Harry and decided to be his nurse, and so he knew exactly what it was Harry was giving him. "So that's why she didn't scream..." James was mildly nauseated, but mostly impressed.

Harry received the same damn letter so many times through the month of August, that he could actually see the undigested parchment when he threw up. It was beyond a joke. It was the 25th of August when Harry got a visitor. A bitter man with a dark aura and a letter. That damn letter...

 **So yeah... Two chapters in one night. I feel accomplished. I must apologize for my lack of activity. In the past month or so I've gotten engaged, fought and quite possibly gotten un-engaged. God I hate real life.**


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